i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
