her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
