so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There r osticjed everywhere
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
