Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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