She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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