If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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