i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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