I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
