The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
