he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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