I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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