i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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