Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
