I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You can't motorboat a personality
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
