Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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