I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
