Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
