Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize
