Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
