She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pants are for mortals
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
