i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
