hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
