He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I supernannyed him into submission
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
