Jerry, you need to find god
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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