I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
