I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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