Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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