he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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