I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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