community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize