i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
