Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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