Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
