My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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