Just cropdusted the office
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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