I wish I could punch you in the face.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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