I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
