She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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