i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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