You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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