My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
