At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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