already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
