I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
