I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
