I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
