you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
