i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
