Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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