The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
