How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
