Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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