Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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