I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
