very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
