You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I want is dick and wine.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
