hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
