Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
