That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
