if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
