No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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