just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
