I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
