The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
