It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
