Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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