What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
