Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
