nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
4 words: hood of his car
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
